This week I had a chance to dole out some advice to college freshmen girls on the first day of class. It was fun to see their faces - oh, how I loved college! It also felt good to share a little of what I have learned along the way. I like to give advice. So, at age 37, off to a sorority house I went in my new gray sweater dress and my favorite black boots. If I wear my tall black boots, I can do almost anything. With a friend by my side (thanks, mindy), I am unstoppable. Here are the tips we gave at our Love U Seminar:
1. Get Organized - You'll Have More Time For Fun!
I should have done this day 1 in college, but I didn't. And I still struggle to this day. But I have learned that a calendar and a to do list work wonders - even for the hopeless like me. In college, all I had were to do lists. And that was only because I sat on the floor and laughed with my roommate Paige making them. We laughed at the impossibly optimistic number of tasks we wrote down and at how we masterfully we justified procrastination. I'd say, "I can't study now (or clean up my mess), I need to make a list!" We'd laugh.
Since college, I have learned that writing things down and keeping them in front of my face helps. For me, out of sight means out of mind. I still use lists, and a calendar helps me function like a normal human being. I limit my list to 5 things per day which really helps. I like crossing things off, and I congratulate myself if I get 3 or 4 done. Give yourself grace.
I also write down goals or desires, because I read somewhere that the simple act of writing things down astronomically increases your chances of doing them. I have found that to be true for me. As a college freshman my goals were along these lines -
I want to. . .
get good enough grades to get into optometry school
have as much fun as humanly possible
go on dates
find some new friends
get through track practice everyday without dying
grow spiritually
2. Love Your Body - What Not To Do
I stayed up until at least 2 a.m. most nights of my freshman year and almost failed an early class due to absences. I remember a physics test after studying all night long. I simply could not focus my eyes. I had drunk a whole 2 liter of diet mountain dew to stay awake and I was so tired during the test that I didn't care how I did. I was nauseous from exhaustion, and I just wanted my bed. Studies have shown that losing one hour of sleep for 3 nights in a row can drop academic performance 2 whole grade levels. Why didn't anyone tell me this? I could have had a 4.0! Other studies show that people who do not sleep enough gain weight. I gained a sophomore 15 after hanging my track shoes up. I wonder if lack of sleep was involved.
Eating healthy is something I am just starting to care about thanks to my loving husband. But if I could do college over again, I'd cut back on the daily dose of Lucky Charms With Frozen Yogurt even though it was magically delicious. I'd drink more water and my skin would thank me profusely. And I would dance and go hit golf balls, because it feels great to physically release stress. I would not recommend having sex with strangers. I didn't. I'm glad.
But, by far, the most unhealthy thing I did in school was staying in an unhealthy relationship. I should have seen a red flag when I lost 15 pounds without explanation and was having trouble getting out of bed (a sign of depression). This was in graduate school after supposedly finding the love of my life. As they say, love is blind. So pay attention to what your body may be telling you. If you can't relax and be your favorite self with a guy, or if you feel drained after most interactions, love yourself enough to get out. You need to trust me on this one.
3. Feed Your Soul - My Favorite Topic
I think the best college experience (or life for that matter) is one where you feel mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually engaged. Mind. Body. Heart. Soul. If you take interesting classes, your mind will be stimulated and engaged on a daily basis. You'll walk all over campus which is good for your body. If you simply show up and participate at events other than parties, you'll be almost guaranteed a social life. But sometimes feeding your soul gets left out. There's no mandatory class and you are going to be busy.
How do you feed your soul? I think that is different for each of us. Two good questions to ask yourself are these. When do I feel most alive? When do I feel most at peace? Do you know? If so, write it down and put it somewhere you'll remember. For me, I feel most alive when I am at football games, salsa dancing, snowboarding, scuba diving, volunteering overseas, or talking with people I enjoy. I feel most at peace sitting on the edge of the ocean at dusk, with my family members who love me as I am, in the bathtub with a book, curled up next to my husband, or when I sing in church.
I would even say that these are some of the places God shows up in my life - moments of feeling connected to or loved by God. Because that has been so good for me, I can't help but hope you will find your own soulful places - places full of meaning and goodness.
And, finally, surround yourself with love. You really can't have too many people in your life that love you. I've tested this out. If you feel lonely or sad, call someone you love. You will probably be glad you did. And let new people love you which means let them know you. I know it's scary, but it's worth it. Ask someone to walk and get coffee with you. Join a small group. Find yourself a mentor. Assume you are lovable, because you are.
I hope you have an amazing year!
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