#iquoteyou

When you get a hundred individuals to do one percent more than they would have done without you, you have created a new life.  

-mason roberts 

(found in You and Your Network)

amen, jack

happiness is the full use of your powers along lines of excellence in a life affording scope.

-john f. kennedy

@ forty two

You know something. What do you know? Start with what you know.                  -charis brice

One of the nice things about being in the 5th decade of my life (wow) is that I know a few things about myself.  I've lived long enough to see some patterns, to figure out what is me vs my parents, and to venture down enough paths to discover what makes my heart sing and what isn't good for me. But sometimes I forget what I know and, as a result, I feel stuck - like I'm not moving toward the life I want, not being the person I most want to be.  When that happens, it helps me to stop, take stock, and get it down on paper.  It really helps me to see it, and I want to be known.  So I'm putting it on my blog for myself and for company.

Here are 42 things I know about myself today. . .

I’m a people person – once described as “highly relational” (thanks, Steve)

I love to BE alone (solitude), but I hate to WORK alone

 I’m 100% more effective on a team

I love church and I'm about as ecumenical as they come

I hated practicing optometry and loved mentoring college students

It’s good for me to meet regularly with an older wiser woman (mentor and spiritual director)

I love to be outside, and my favorite place is a remote deserted beach at dusk

I'm prone to inactivity, but I'm much happier when I’m busy

I always have room in my life for one more friend (or at least I always think I do)

My friendships work best with “pick up where we left off” kind of friends (see above)

I never tire of having conversations with people about God

I need exercise like I need air

I like exercise if that means dancing, diving, snowboarding, paddleboarding, and walk/talking

I feel better about myself when I'm relatively skinny

I do not like the physical changes that come with getting older 

l do like the emotional/psychological/spiritual maturity that comes with age

I like to give advice, and I think about 50% of it is helpful

I am warm, open, fun, and empathetic

Most people like me and I really like that

I love to talk and prefer to be in conversation about 4 hrs a day

I need to talk when I'm stressed, angry, confused, excited, making plans, or dreaming

I talk too much when I'm nervous or haven’t talked much in a few days

I’m a decent listener, but I’ll have to work on that for the rest of my life

I’m the most forgetful person I know, and it is frustrating to my friends and family and me

My love languages are (in order) WORDS, physical touch, acts of service, quality time, and gifts

I want everyone in my life to know this and respond accordingly

I am not good at nor do I enjoy doing acts of service or buying gifts (both stress me out)

I love to read, and I’m usually in the middle of 5 books (see sidebar)

I love to journal/write, because it feeds my soul and it's clarifying

I’m writing a book, with some amazing women, that I really hope to finish one day

I love to dance and laugh almost as much as I love to talk

It feels important to me to help people who are less fortunate

I'd like to support one local and one overseas charity for the rest of my life (GK and REST) 

I’d rather donate time and energy than money

I love to travel

I love kids and would have 10 if I didn’t have to take care of them (see next)

I rarely enjoy cooking, cleaning, or doing laundry (sometimes I forget to do all of them)

I like to work and make money, but nothing I love to do pays well (so far)

I'm prone to low level depression, but it is largely situational (and hormonal)

My engine runs on fun, and I tend to get depressed when my life is not fun enough

I'd like to be a sports team chaplain when I grow up (UW, SPU, Seagals?)

I’d also like to be wise and patient enough to do spiritual direction when I’m 70 (and play golf)

Me:  Siri, what’s the meaning of life?  

Siri:  42.

Well, there you go.

i like her

from God Doesn't Want to Hold Women Back and Never Did

Still to this day, according to UNIFEM, 
women are 2/3 of the hungry of the world; 
women are 2/3 of the illiterate of the world; and
women are 2/3 of the poorest of the poor.  
That cannot be an accident; that is a policy.   

- joan chittister

wanna be part of the solution?  i'd start by reading Half the Sky

If Heaven Ain't A lot Like Football. . .

written while traveling in 2010

Yesterday I sat by the pool and read three weeks worth of email. I’ve been in No Man’s Land for a while. The highlight of the day was watching a video (compliments of my lovely sister-in-law) of Yea Alabama and the Alabama Alma Mater at the end of the Florida game. I smiled and laughed as I could hear Stacie happily singing every word. And it finally rang true when she sang, “Remember the Rose Bowl, we’ll win then!” Ahh, it finally seems like things are as they should be. Is this heaven? No, this is Alabama football. So why do we love it so much? Why do I love it so much?

I think we get glimpses of heaven in the delicious and beautiful moments in this life. I think they are foretastes of what is to come. And I think those moments are different for everyone. In my case, I think heaven will sometimes be like being at an Alabama football game. I think it will encompass all of the goodness I have experienced there.

I once asked my mom this question, “If you could only take one memory with you into eternity, what would it be?” To my great surprise, she said, “Being at the 1992 National Championship Football Game” which Alabama won. Not the day she met or married my dad, not the birth of her children, but a college football game. I laughed. And then we remembered that we had to beg her to go. She thought the trip was going to be a waste of money, because Alabama was predicted to lose by a lot to Miami. But we won. Our family went with Susan’s family, and we had the time of our lives. My mom’s favorite, evidently! And I can relate, because I love going to Alabama football games. They are heavenly to me. I don’t know exactly why, but I have a few ideas, that I love, about why this is true.

Football games are exciting. At the biggest games of the year, you never know how it’s going to turn out. They are corporate and communal. Eighty thousand people are in one accord as we sing the national anthem together. There is tension, but it is a good kind of tension, because this is a game. No one is going to die or be irreparably damaged, but there will be action, engagement, effort, excellence, guts, and courage on display.

We park our car and happily eat our bucket of chicken and mom’s devil’s food cupcakes right alongside our neighbors. People are friendly. Everyone says Roll Tide. It’s like an endearing family greeting that we’ve heard all our lives. If I say Roll Tide, I’ll be answered with a smile, a shake of a pom pom, or usually a heartier ROLL TIDE! We are all part of the same tribe.

My guess is that Sunday in the South is still the most segregated day of the week. There are mostly black churches and white churches with relatively few that are mixed. People break up further into denominations, and the people who stay home are prayed for and “visited“ in hopes that they‘ll return to the fold. But on Saturdays in the fall, countless barriers fall away. We are all on the same team. Black and white, rich and poor, Christian and pagan. None of that matters. We only have disdain for the enemy - the opposing team and their fans. And though the enemy often serves as a socially acceptable target for venting our anger or releasing our stress, that never defines the day. It mostly garners empathy, because, for most of us, it is a kind of play. We don’t really hate the Florida Gators, we just hate them today, for three hours. It is part of the game. Luckily, the rude and obnoxious people are few and far between, so the happy majority can cover over it with love. If anyone goes too far, our policemen take them away. They are not allowed to disrupt our joy and our peace on this particular day.

Every fall, I get a little teary when I see the same family that has sat behind us for over ten years now. They always remember my face as I do theirs. We joke about the game and gravely share our concerns. The old lady behind me calls the penalties before the refs do. When my team makes a great play, I hug strangers and high five people I do not know. I celebrate with my closest neighbor and anyone who looks my way. Even in the bathroom, I am among friends. I patiently wait in line and talk to women I do not know. I usually see an old friend during the day and we hug or say hello. It all feels connecting and alive. Everyone seems to be alive and awake.

Like our family, most parents are spending eight hours with their kids on this day. We drive, wait in traffic, park, eat, drink, walk around, go to the game, eat and drink some more, sing, cheer, raise our hands, hug each other, talk, leave in a sea of people (celebrating or mourning together), and drive back to our homes. It is a day to be together and yet the family is not the point. For once, something bigger is. We are all there for the game. It is bigger than our family and bigger that what divides us. There is a battle that we are engaging in together. We are all in agreement about whom we want to win. There are referees and instant replay to ensure it is fair, so we experience a taste of justice on this day. This gives us relief and the freedom to fully enjoy the game. We may not like a call here or there, but we believe the system is just. If only for today, there is moral clarity. We know who we want to win and who we want to lose.

We want to win. And when we do it feels glorious. It’s a taste of what we might feel on judgment day when evil is banished forever never to win the day again. No more injustice, no more suffering, no more disappointment, loneliness, or pain. We are made for this. We are made to win in the end, to rule as kings and queens in the kingdom of God. We are #1. The fourth quarter is ours.  We rejoice and commiserate together. We hope together - sometimes against all odds. We are spectators, but we also participate. We cheer our guys onto victory. We make them feel loved. We celebrate them individually and as a team. Today we are gloriously happy when others succeed. We are involved, all of us, together on this day. All different kinds of people - singing our theme songs and sitting inches from each other or closer.

For one day, we even look the same. We wear our colors, and if you have on crimson or white you are beautiful to us. I don’t look good in crimson. It doesn’t go with my red hair, but if I don’t wear somethin’ bama I stick a shaker in my back pocket, so people will know I‘m in the family. I want to be included, and I always am. I’ve never felt lonely at a Bama game. Never. The game itself reminds me of a good experience at church except that I am freer here. It is loud and bodily, and I can fully express myself if I want to. Or not. I get to be me. And people are happy that I am here. There is no hierarchy. There are no gender roles. There’s no better than.

We are all fans. All of us. The freshmen girls in cocktail dresses. The body paint spellers. The couples in matching t-shirts. The row of people in wheelchairs. The D-fence sign people. The guys with the Rolls of toliet paper and Tide detergent boxes on a stick. I love them all on game day, even the girls who are prettier than me and the people who drink too much.  If even an inkling of what I'm saying is true, then I know I will love heaven. And so will you. So onto victory, Crimson Tide. You’re Dixie’s football pride, Crimson Tide. Roll Tide. Roll Tide!

We may ignore, but we can nowhere evade the presence of God.  The world is crowded with Him.  

He walks everywhere incognito.    - C.S. Lewis

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.   - Mother Teresa