lent

this year i'm giving up some stuff for lent. i have a moderately liturgical heart, and i missed out on the whole church calendar thing growing up. i like symbols and cadence and bodily expressions of my faith. i like to attach meaning to my ordinary days. observing lent is one way to do this. so what am i giving up?

1. fear - i am often controlled by fear. i do not want to be.
2. thinking i'm not pretty - it's time for this to go. i am pretty.
3. apathy - i'm giving up not thinking about people in need.
4. saying negative things about myself - this really isn't good for me.
5. alcohol - i'm allergic. i went 30 yrs without drinking - should be easy.
6. caffeine (mostly) - it gives me a splitting headache, but i'm allowing decaf coffee and chocolate, because i live in seattle and they comfort me.

so for 40 days i will ask for help, give stuff up, and hopefully be more aware of the God who created me to be free - free from fear, free from insecurity, free from self-contempt, and free to be healthy.

what saves a man is to take a step. then another step. c.s. lewis

do what you know

a friend once said something that keeps echoing in my mind. he said, "do what you know." he was talking to my brother about his career options and his desire to help people. i've been thinking about that lately, because i have a growing desire to help a whole village of people working to get out of poverty. i don't know how much i can actually do to help. it seems pretty overwhelming. but another phrase that keeps haunting me is, "you can't do everything, but you can do something." i wonder if this is how God communicates with me - in bumper sticker speak. what i do know is that there are 2 questions rolling around inside of me. what do i know? & what is my something?

what do i know? i know how to make friends, i know how to dance, and i know how to invite people to go dancing with me.

i know how to make friends, because i've been doing it my whole life. in college, my favorite quote was, "there are no strangers in the world, only friends we haven't met yet." i lived and breathed that philosophy. i would go on big spiritual retreats with multiple universities, and i would leave with 30 new friends. i was on the homecoming court, because everyone knew me. i still love to meet new people, because people are fascinating.

i know how to dance. thanks to ballet, tap, and jazz as a child and cheerleading as a teen, i can usually stay on the beat. i was a slow learner, but i got it. . .eventually. then i went to a small christian college that encouraged dancing. i was in a sorority which meant lots of parties and lots of dancing. when i was broken hearted from divorce, some good friends asked me to take swing lessons with them, and it was healing. then i moved to seattle and somehow discovered salsa dancing. i fell in love. instantly. it's the dance that feels most like me. I LOVE SALSA DANCING.

so i became a salsa evangelist. i wanted to spread the good news. i invited everyone i knew and a lot of people i didn't (including my husband) to try it with me. i did everything from organizing beginner classes to sending out weekly invites to buying people drinks. i also got my friends to try samba, zumba, hip hop, lindy hop, and country line dancing. i am pretty good at inviting people to go dancing.

what can I do? well, let's see. i can make some new friends, throw a party, and invite everyone i know to dance with me. i can send the profit to some kids who could really use the money. for now, that's my something.

be free

the soul must. . .without concern for others' opinions, go freely where it finds its best director, going where God inspires it to go, and giving the new encounter every benefit.

-Jean Joseph Surrin, 17th Century French Christian

i can't think of anything that has been more helpful to me than finding someone to talk to about my spiritual longings. in college it was paula, a girl in my sorority who befriended me. in south carolina i asked ann to meet with me when i found out that my husband was cheating on me. we went running together then she fed me lunch and prayed for me. now i meet with deborah who is motherly. we like to meet for coffee/tea and go walking. we found each other at my church through a women's mentoring ministry. i have also been to counselors (roger mccrary, steve ruetscle, and gina waggoner) who have spiritually nurtured me. and i've met with actual spiritual directors (julie anderton and margie van duzer). i recommend them both highly. give yourself the gift of meeting with someone regularly who really gets you if you want to be spiritually free.

~the quote is from Finding a Spiritual Friend - How Friends And Mentors Can Make Your Faith Grow by Timothy Jones~