books

my spiritual journey in books

pink children's bible
children's bible with pictures
survival kit program
precious moments bible
becoming a woman of excellence
philippians
trusting god
pink children's bible from kristee
galatians
six hours one friday
the practice of the presence of god
the god you can know
my utmost for his highest
with new eyes
transforming grace
niv study bible from paige
more than a carpenter
celebration of discipline

knowing god
ragamuffin gospel
lion and lamb
the hiding place
amazing love
the marriage builder
mere christianity
the four loves
screwtape letters
the great divorce
prayer by richard foster
the practice of praise
desiring god
what's so amazing about grace
brother andrew
morning and evening
Love is
a man called peter


echos of eternity
the cloister walk
the safest place on earth
connecting
the message
the return of the prodigal son


a circle of quiet
walking on water
a grace disguised
a grief observed
the sacred romance
journey of desire
window to the soul - ken gire
a severe mercy
bold love
cry of the soul
bold purpose
intimate allies
the mystery of marriage
listening to your life
great women of the christian faith


traveling mercies
sacred pathways
plan b further thoughts on faith
grace eventually
mountains beyond mountains
a woman's journey to god
the woman behind the collar
finding god at harvard
the faith club
the dance of the dissident daughter
god and hillary clinton
three cups of tea

02 breathing new life into faith
take this bread
the spirit of the disciplines
the new testament
letters to marc about jesus
redeemed
come be my light
my name is asher lev
leaving church

social justice

I'm not sure I heard this phrase until I moved to Seattle. It's just not in the southern vernacular at least not in my neck of the woods. I was taught to care about people and help out when I can, but somehow that didn't translate to being concerned with "social justice."

About 10 years ago, I remember specifically praying for God to make my heart bigger. And I'm seeing some growth. I think about bigger issues. I care about things that didn't even used to register in my heart and mind. I want to help people in other countries. I see my responsibility extending to the world, not just my family or my group of friends. I sometimes recycle. I am starting to understand how meeting physical needs goes hand-in-hand with meeting spiritual ones. But I have a long way to go. I don't quite get Mother Theresa. Or silent monks who just serve communities in mundane everyday ways. That kind of selfless service is foreign to me. But I don't want it to be.

The good news to a hungry person is bread. Desmond Tutu

on heaven

"now, you've got to get images of baptist receptions entirely out of your mind—folks milling around in the church gym, holding styrofoam cups of punch, wondering what to do with themselves. you've got to picture an italian wedding or, better, a jewish wedding. they roll up the rugs and push back the furniture. there is dancing." -john eldredge

prayer

I would describe my spiritual journey as surprising and deeply good. Something inside me wants to blog about it. So I will - for me, just because I want to.

Today I woke up and wanted to stay in bed like every other day. So I prayed. . .to buy me more time. This is an on again off again habit that started a long time ago. I often awake and spontaneously thank God for the day. It has become so common that it is almost involuntary, and I'm half asleep when I do it. But it still feels good to think of God before I open my eyes and start my day. It's more like a good morning than anything else. It's earthy and real for me when I talk to God in this way - curled up in my down comforter. And I feel reminded of God's love on these mornings and ready to go about my day.

If I don't wake up with God, I often check in. . .in the car. As I drive toward whatever the day holds, I feel compelled to ask for blessing, guidance, goodness, help and love as I go about my day. I pray for myself and others that come into my mind. Some are people who will cross my path that day. Others seem to appear in my mind as if to ask for prayer from me. I enjoy praying for people I know and love. I enjoy wanting good things for people in the presence of God. I believe God works through my prayers in some completely indescribable way. And I like being part of something mysterious and good.

If I am feeling a lot of anxiety, on a good day, I try to turn that into a prayer. Sometimes it is involves a lot of words that don't really make much sense followed by a silent "you know, right?" with a person's name attached or a problem I can't fix in my own head. I often don't know how to pray, but I feel like God knows and the point is to remember that and be with God in the moment. I usually feel less alone, a greater sense of peace, calmer and more confident as I do the next thing. The simple truth is that I feel much better when I turn my anxious thoughts into prayers.

Tennyson said, "Closer is He than breathing, nearer than hands and feet." I believe that to be true. Sometimes I can feel it - which is comforting and good. Other times I can't feel much of anything or, even worse, it feels like God is absent. But I believe He is there all the same, closer than my heartbeat, listening with love. I guess that is why I pray.

spiritual, but religious

I can't decide what to put for "religion" on my facebook profile. You wouldn't think this would be difficult. I even checked friends' pages to see what they said since I feel like my faith might be similar to theirs, but it didn't help that much. First I just said Christian, but then I started thinking about what that means to most people in Seattle - conservative republican. Um. . .that's not me and I don't want to be stereotyped that way. For others, Christian conjures up boring church services they will never grace with their presence again. It also seems like a synonym for judgmental or uptight. I don't like that association even if it occasionally fits. Protestant seems even less clear. If someone held a gun to my head and asked me to explain exactly what I meant by Protestant, I wouldn't be very articulate. I'd probably eke out that I really like Brennan Manning, a Catholic, and that I think the Orthodox church has some great things my church is missing like icons and incense. So Protestant seems confusing and incomplete.

On Match.com (yes, I tried it), there is a category called "spiritual, but not religious" which I am drawn to, but that's not me. I am more spiritual, but religious. I go to church whenever I can, because it's one of the places that feels most spiritual to me (it is a close third behind the beach and the bathtub). I actually like what religion does for my spirituality. And when I move too far from my religious roots, I feel ungrounded and lonelier - like I need to figure it all out by myself for myself. And that just doesn't appeal to me. I need help, want support, and enjoy being part of a worshiping community even if most of them are strangers. I know less than 10 people at my current church, but I am strangely comforted by their presence.

On facebook, I noticed that a lot of my girlfriends and women that I respect gave a shout out to Jesus - Jesus, I follow Jesus, Jesus is my homeboy (which fits Lara), and I love Jesus. This seems less complicated and less religious (which I like), but it feels like if I'm going to mention Jesus, I have to say so much more.

about a month later. . .

Ok, for religion, I've decided to say "Jesus," because if people are going to associate me with anyone or anything, I'll take Jesus any day. But even here I want to add a disclaimer saying, that I mean the Jesus I read about in the Bible, not the Jesus that some versions of American Christianity are selling. Unfortunately, there can be a difference. But Jesus is central to my faith, so that is the most honest answer I can give. Another friend's profile says "christian. . .with questions." I like that, too. And if I could add a few words to describe my "religion" or my spirituality (the word I prefer), I think I would most like to include contemplative, mystical, intellectual, emotional, naturalist, celebrationist (definitely not a word), christian hedonist, and slowly-learning-how-to-be-an-activist. That's about right for now. I wonder if it will fit on facebook. :)

Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for orphans and widows in their troubles, and refuse to let the world corrupt us. James 1:27